Toenail Clippers

Noted that my cabbie from SFO to the office had a massive toenail clipper attached to his keyring. I'm picturing him driving around with his foot up by the ignition, attempting a clipping while driving.

Security Checkpoint

Waiting for my bag to go thru the scanner at PDX, the couple in front of me had forgotten to remove their video camera from their carry-on. As the TSA dude was busily digging thru her bag, the woman's boyfriend comes up and says "Hope they don't find your lubricant."

I was unable to contain my laughter, much to the happiness of said boyfriend.

We Do Outcalls

Seen on the massage parlor sign across from The Serrano Hotel -- We Do Outcalls.

Tame

Just back from my latest trip to the 'loin, and I must say it was tame. I wasn't assaulted. I wasn't propositioned. I wasn't mugged. I didn't have to jump over any homeless people, dodge crazed, bicycling meth addicts or tip toe thru human excrement on my way to and from the hotel. Nor did I see my legless homeless pal.

I can't say if I'm disappointed or happy.

the things you miss...

i probably spend more time in the 'loin now that i live in portland than i did when i lived in SF. when i was in SF, i basically only ever had 2 reasons to go there:

1. shalimar
2. edinburgh castle

both of which i loved, but neither of which i patronized all that often. now, when i travel to SF for work once a month, i almost always stay at the hilton near union square (perhaps an odd choice, but for some reason i've always liked my hotels big; don't know why...).

while a walk through the 'loin at night (or hell, any hour) is undeniably creepy and depressing, there's something oddly invigorating about it. it reminds me why the urban landscape is my preferred habitat.

i grew up in the 'burbs, and i remember all too well how stultifying the suburban experience can be. yes, life is full of unpleasantness, and wanting to avoid that unpleasantness is a natural reaction. but, in one of life's little paradoxes, the more you try to shelter yourself from that stuff, the harder it becomes to retain a proper sense of perspective on life, and to fully appreciate all that we have.

i've never been more aware of (or thankful for) just how wealthy we as americans are as i was when i returned from a one week business trip to india in the summer of '03. by the same token, a walk through the 'loin is a harsh reminder of how wide the spread is between the haves and the have nots in the good ol' US-of-A, and how lucky i am to not be on the short end of that stick.

didn't mean to get all deep on my first post. unfortunately, i don't think i share josh's skill at remembering and relating specific incidents. i resolve to retain more of my 'loin adventures in the future!

Toss Up?

One drag queen to another, overheard as I came into my hotel.

"I like your boobs better than mine."

Seriously, you can't make this shit up.

Half the Man I Used to Be

Walking up Taylor, heart of the 'loin, on my way back to the hotel this evening. Is that a clump of clothes on the sidewalk? Almost looks like a dude, but not anywhere near big enough. Except he's missing his legs, passed out in an impossibly small space. Had me tweaked for a few blocks.

Just another day in the 'loin.